On Monday night on the Busted Halo Show, Father Dave put together a little Public Service Announcement for anyone that might be doing a homily or sermon in the future. These are some of the most common tell-tale signs from the congregation that your homily is either getting too long or if you have simply lost your audience...
1. Looking/tapping at the watch
2. Looking around the room
3. Kids taking apart and putting back together the pews
4. Stomachs are growling
5. Yawning
6. Clapping in the middle of the homily
7. Snoring
8. People fanning themselves with the bulletin...
9. Organist begins to play the "hurry up" music (like in an awards show)
10. Doodling
11. People start writing checks
12. The deacon falls asleep
13. The evening cleaning crew is coming in
14. Choir has ordered take out
15. Cleaning out purse
16. Reading the paper/doing the crossword
17. Snapping gum
18. Starting the Apostle's Creed
19. When one of the congregation is roaming the aisles with toddler
20. Small children heard saying "Grandma, he talks a lot"!!
21. Preacher repeats things 3 times
22. Texting and twittering
and the all-time #1 sign the homily is going too long is...
23. People start coughing/clearing throat
If you can think of more, post them as comments below...
1. Looking/tapping at the watch
2. Looking around the room
3. Kids taking apart and putting back together the pews
4. Stomachs are growling
5. Yawning
6. Clapping in the middle of the homily
7. Snoring
8. People fanning themselves with the bulletin...
9. Organist begins to play the "hurry up" music (like in an awards show)
10. Doodling
11. People start writing checks
12. The deacon falls asleep
13. The evening cleaning crew is coming in
14. Choir has ordered take out
15. Cleaning out purse
16. Reading the paper/doing the crossword
17. Snapping gum
18. Starting the Apostle's Creed
19. When one of the congregation is roaming the aisles with toddler
20. Small children heard saying "Grandma, he talks a lot"!!
21. Preacher repeats things 3 times
22. Texting and twittering
and the all-time #1 sign the homily is going too long is...
23. People start coughing/clearing throat
If you can think of more, post them as comments below...
...if someone starts clipping his fingernails.
I was laughing so hard when I heard this segment on the "overnight" this morning!